Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Last day of current treatment but something is not right

Obvious statement under the current circumstances I suppose!
What I mean is usually at the end of my chemo cycle I feel very flat, but thIs time I feel there is something not right. Can I explain it, No, I have got to a stage where I understand how my body is reacting to the chemo and cancer in some werid way. Maybe it is just overdoing our Christmas trip away, and if is the case, I am happy to suffer as it was great to catch up with everyone from Family to Friends.Thanks to everyone who took time out to catch up, it means so much to me. On another note, I have been following a guys life through a blog site. He has the same cancer as myself, both bowel & liver. Some of you might have heard of him, Kristian Anderson, he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey when she was in Australia. He was diagnosed back in Oct 2008 and died Monday this week.How does this make me feel to know someone with the same diagnosis only managed to live for two years? I think it has hit me harder than I realize and has added to my low emotional state which happens at this stage of my chemo cycle. I could just accept it as the inevitable and start planning my demise or I could be selfish and think it makes my odds better as the survival rate for my cancer is only 1 in 20. Yes that low. So I am still here keeping positive and hoping I will last long enough till they find a cure for this terrible disease. I suspect the next round of chemo treatment is going to knock me around quite a bit and I am starting to prepare myself to slow down at work. This is the worst thing that can happen emotionally to me as it means the cancer is effecting the life I love so much, and for this I can not express how much I hate this bloody cancer. It's bad enough the life changes I have already had to suffer, but to now effect the job I love doing is really going to hurt. I must admit my company are fully supportive and have offered to support me through this period, which is fantastic. I obviously still have the great support of my Family and will never let it effect the time I spend with Meghan & Sammy, as if there does come a day when all they have is memories, I want to be remembered for the good times and not some lifeless body laying in a bed being consumed by cancer. But that's not going to happen as my positivity has not weaned, I might stray of track every now and then, which I put down to chemo brain, but deep down I know I can beat this bloody cancer.
Sorry for such a long blog, but as you can tell I needed to get it of my chest and this is why a started this blog in the first place. Wish me luck as I start my next treatment and I will update soon.

5 comments:

  1. Hi Dave,

    Keep your head up mate!!
    I hope you had an enjoyable Xmas and New Year.

    Cheers
    Rene'

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  2. Good Luck Chook, Macca said he saw you when you came down and it was great to catch up..I was in Adelaide when you were here..come to think of it...I saw Macca yesterday, but hadnt seen him for about 12 months before that..hang in there mate, you are the kind of person who could be the "1 in the 20" VQ

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  3. Hey uncle David, Thanks for being so brave, you are an inspiration. Was really good to see you and Meghan and Sam, boy he has cute eyes! Praying for your full recovery! Love and hugs. Mel

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  4. We wish you all the best with this next round of treatment David. Big hgs and lots of love, Tina and Joseph xxx

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  5. Thank you All for your support. It means everything to me to know I have the prayers and wishes of Friends over these tough times.
    Thank you all once again
    David

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